Are you kind enough?

Our Secretary of Kindness Grace Foxwell Murdock tells Nestor how doing 12 acts of kindness every day will change his life. Kindness is magic! Let her show you…

Nestor Aparicio interviews Grace Foxwell Murdock, the former Secretary of Kindness in Salisbury, about her mission to promote kindness. Grace discusses her initiative inspired by the Sandy Hook massacre, which involves performing 12 acts of kindness daily, tracked using a kindness bracelet. She highlights various community projects, including a kindness commission with 28 members, a week of random acts of kindness, and a kindness tree at the local library. Grace emphasizes the importance of kindness in personal well-being and community cohesion, and encourages others to adopt kindness as a daily practice.

• [ ] @Nestor Aparicio – Locate and obtain a replacement pink kindness mug from the internet so it can be used at home.
• [ ] Buy a Death by Coconut dessert for Nestor during his next visit to Salisbury, using his phone number to coordinate timing.

Outline

Grace Foxwell Murdock’s Introduction and Background

• Nestor Aparicio introduces Grace Foxwell Murdock, also known as the Secretary of Kindness, and shares their history together.
• Nestor recalls meeting Grace during the Maryland crab cake tour and her role as the Secretary of Kindness in Salisbury.
• Grace is praised for her kindness and her impact on the community, including her business, Ugly Pie.
• Nestor expresses his admiration for Grace and hopes to be remembered for kindness like her.

Adopting Kindness as a Lifestyle

• Grace shares how she adopted kindness as her mission, inspired by the Sandy Hook massacre in 2012.
• She created a kindness bracelet to help people count and perform 12 acts of kindness daily.
• Grace explains the importance of intentionally thinking about kindness and how it can positively impact one’s life.
• She discusses the initial response to the kindness bracelets and how it led to the creation of the Kindness Commission in Salisbury.

Kindness Commission and Community Impact

• Grace talks about the Kindness Commission, which was commissioned by Jake Day, the mayor of Salisbury.
• The commission aims to inspire and support kindness in the community, with 28 commissioners.
• Grace highlights various kindness initiatives, such as the Dance for Kindness event that brought together 500 people.
• She mentions other community activities, including blessing emergency room nurses with cakes and creating a kindness tree at the local library.

Personal Stories and Kindness in Action

• Grace shares personal stories about her family and how kindness has been a part of her life since childhood.
• She talks about baking bread and cinnamon rolls with her grandchildren and the joy it brings to others.
• Nestor and Grace discuss the importance of witnessing kindness and how it can inspire others to be kind.
• Grace emphasizes that kindness benefits the giver, the receiver, and the observer, making it a win-win situation.

Challenges and Courage in Kindness

• Grace discusses the challenges of being kind in a world that often sees kindness as a weakness.
• She shares her belief that kindness requires courage and that holding one’s tongue can be a form of kindness.
• Nestor reflects on the difficulty of being kind to people he disagrees with, such as Donald Trump.
• Grace encourages Nestor to be professional and kind in his communication, even when it’s challenging.

Kindness in Daily Life and Professional Context

• Nestor talks about the importance of holding power accountable and how it can be necessary but not always kind.
• Grace suggests that kindness can be intentional and a way of thinking that improves one’s life.
• They discuss the impact of kindness on mental health and how it can help people cope with stress and challenges.
• Grace shares her personal experience of using kindness as self-care and how it helps her stay positive.

Kindness in the Face of Adversity

• Grace recounts a recent experience of losing power and how she remained grateful and kind to the Delmarva Power fellow.
• Nestor and Grace discuss the importance of maintaining kindness even in difficult situations.
• Grace emphasizes that kindness is part of her self-care routine and helps her stay positive.
• They talk about the importance of focusing on one’s circle of influence and making a positive impact in their local community.

Supporting Kindness Initiatives

• Nestor asks how people can support Grace’s kindness initiatives and where to find more information.
• Grace provides information about the Kindness by Grace website and the various activities they have been involved in.
• They discuss the importance of fundraising and how it helps sustain their kindness efforts.
• Nestor expresses his admiration for Grace and his desire to support her work.

Final Thoughts and Encouragement

• Grace leaves Nestor with a quote about kindness and encourages him to give some kindness away.
• Nestor reflects on the importance of leading with kindness and the impact it can have on others.
• They discuss the challenges of being kind in a world that often seems cruel and unkind.
• Nestor thanks Grace for her kindness and for inspiring him to be a better person.

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

Kindness, Grace Foxwell Murdock, Maryland crab cake tour, Sandy Hook massacre, kindness bracelet, kindness commission, World Kindness Day, random acts of kindness, kindness tree, kindness coloring posters, kindness bubble, self-care, kindness legacy, kindness by org.

8

SPEAKERS

Grace Foxwell Murdock, Nestor Aparicio

Nestor Aparicio  00:01

Welcome home. We are W, N, S, T, am 1570 Towson, Baltimore. We are Baltimore. Positive. We’re taking the Maryland crab cake tour on the road. They have been kind Roz at the lotteries got me all hooked up with these Harlem Globetrotters top prize, $10,000 I will have these on Tuesday when we convene at missoni’s in Perry Hall. I’m going away for a little bit before, before opening day, and sort of a backlog of guests in a way that, like in football season I do football, and baseball season, I do baseball. I do cup of Super Bowl with all the charities during Super Bowl week. And this young lady came into my space several years ago when I was doing the original Maryland crab cake tour, and doing 30 crab cakes in 30 days for our 30th anniversary all over the state. And I wound up at Salisbury. And she, at the time, Jake day, who now serves the state, was the mayor of Salisbury, and I did the show in downtown Salisbury. And she was the secretary of kindness of Salisbury and I said, Secretary kindness. I don’t know that I’ve met a lot of secretaries of kindness and grace. Foxwell Murdoch has been in my life from that moment. She’s on Facebook and brought me pi from the ugly pie, which was then located downtown next to the Purdue plant. They’ve since moved to the other side of downtown Salisbury to make it a little easier off the bypass for me to stop in and get pies and cakes and cookies and all. And by the way, I found Death by Chocolate and death by coconut at a grocery store in Ocean City. So the ugly pie has expanded beyond Wicomico County, Georgia. Oh yeah, we welcome grace. Foxwell Murdoch back, not just pie eater and pie aficionado, but she is um kindness. And I keep thinking to myself, when you die, and I hope that’s 100 years from now, people look back at Grace and say she was about kindness. And I’m thinking to myself, I hope people say that about me, but they’re not going to. They may say Baltimore positive or whatever, but I think you’ve made a space. And I just want to have a little time to chat with you about kindness, because my mom’s unavailable.

Grace Foxwell Murdock  02:01

I appreciate that nest. All of that. I appreciate it.

Nestor Aparicio  02:05

8

How did you? How did you adopt kindness as your thing? And by the way, your your kind, s, b, y is on my refrigerator downstairs. My wife put that up, and when she broke accidentally, the kindness mug that you gave her, Oh, she had to go replace it. And like she got teary, she wanted to call you and say, Oh, my God, I broke the kindness mug. So we went looking. We couldn’t find the pink one that you we wanted to find the exact same mug, but she’s got a different kindness mug. So that’s good enough. Inspired me in a way that you don’t even know about. So I’m here telling you

Grace Foxwell Murdock  02:40

about it. I love it, and that is the great thing about kindness, is that you never really expect anything back true kindness, but when it does ripple back to you, or it makes somebody else life a little bit better, any day, it’s a wonderful thing. You may not know it immediately, but it kindness does Boomerang, and it comes back eventually. And I started out of a tragedy, and it was 2012 when the Sandy Hook massacre took place, and my niece lived in Sandy Hook. And I was devastated, because, having been an educator, I felt I was part of that group who were attacked those teachers and the children. And I called Beth and I said, How can I help? What can we do? Out of the conversations, over many days and weeks, I created a kindness bracelet that I sent Beth 10. I made them, and I sent them. And you count kind acts on this kindness bracelet. You move the beads, and you try to do 12 kind acts every day, every day, okay, every day. And then at night, it’s

Nestor Aparicio  03:58

84 a week. I’m just, I’m, comp, you know, Compounding this, you know,

Grace Foxwell Murdock  04:02

every day. And what happens is, at night, you push them back and you think, oh, gosh, you had a lousy day. It was raining. Wait a minute. No. Someone said my hair looked nice. Somebody let me in line. Because intentionally thinking about kindness, you will be surprised how much kindness is around you, but if we don’t think about it intentionally, it miss, we miss, it absolutely goes away. So fast forward the bracelet. I sent all those to Bethann. I said, Just give them away. And I had friends and family started buying them from me, and I chose to use the money my proceeds to commit to sharing kindness in Salisbury and Wicomico County. And we are still in existence. We have a kindness commission that Jake day commissioned for us. It’s totally unofficial, but he gave us a. Kindness commission. We have 28 commissioners, and our main goal is to create, inspire and support kindness in the community.

8

Nestor Aparicio  05:13

Who’s the kindest person you knew?

Grace Foxwell Murdock  05:16

Probably a teacher. My teachers, who I loved in elementary school, my mother was one of the kindest people on this earth. I learned to share from her. She would bake bread and always make extra because we knew we were going to go to deliver it to somebody. I extend that to my grandchildren. We’ve always baked bread and cinnamon rolls together, and they always know we’re going to make extra and I still have. They started at age two and a half, and now my youngest Baker, on my husband’s side of the family, is 26 years old. I’m still sending cinnamon rolls when they come and visit.

Nestor Aparicio  05:56

There’s a national Kindness Day, and I know you’ve done many things in Salisbury. Give me a little update since the last time I saw you on I don’t want to say the beads and little things that you do and you’ve been kind to me, but, but events and gatherings, yes, for your cause, above and beyond, daily things

Grace Foxwell Murdock  06:16

8

on November 13, which is World Kindness Day, we started in the Earl in the, I think 2016 we did dance for kindness with Orly wabas life vest inside. And we had 500 people in attendance. And my goal was to unify the community, bring people together, make connections, have them be seen? And we had everyone there, from grandmothers to two and three year olds, dancing in the street. Jake day, again, said yes, and that’s how a lot has happened because of Jake’s Yes.

Nestor Aparicio  06:55

Jake’s running for me right now. He’s busy. I can’t get him on. I’ve been trying to get him at Mako. I even know his assistant, Jake. Where are you?

Grace Foxwell Murdock  07:03

Listen, NASA, I’ve got to point this out. Jake brought me this when he was deployed in Djibouti, and it was made by Native people there. And it says, kindness is magic. So it is magic. It continues to be magic. We just committed to a week of Random Acts of Kindness week, which is every February, and the kindness commissioners blessed the emergency room nurses with cakes from Walmart. Surprise, we had a kindness commissioner who made art with youngsters, and it was delivered to nursing homes. We made a tree of kindness for our local library, the Paul S Sarbanes library, which is about to be moved in Salisbury to the old Wild fowl Museum. But we made a kindness tree that people who came to the library put a kind thought on the tree. It was a great hit. It filled in before the week was out. We also delivered these huge kindness coloring posters to the superintendent of schools in wicomica County, and one was delivered to every school in our county, and the big word in the middle was, of course, kindness. This is what we do every spring. We take a stuffed animal to the clients at Dove point, which is a facility for handicapped and specially abled people. And you would think we were presenting them with Oscar, they love it. We love it. And I have to say to people about kindness, we benefit from kindness three ways, giving it, receiving it and just witnessing it. And I’m hoping that people who listen to this broadcast will be inspired to do kindness in any shape or form. Small smile.

Nestor Aparicio  09:06

I think about witnessing it, how that makes me feel. Well, when you witness it, it inspires you to want to be a part of kindness.

8

Grace Foxwell Murdock  09:16

And think of Steve Hartman on the road with Steve Hartman, and he does a feel good every you know so often, I have teachers in the county who show those to their students in their classrooms, because that inspires people to be kind. They’re often about children and people who a younger person who works with an older person. It’s just inspirational. But my point is, is your acts of kindness, although we call them random, they need to be intentional, also, because kindness is a way of thinking. It’s it’s not just something you do once in a while, you. You think about it all the time, and your life improves. It lowers our blood pressure. It gives us those endorphins that make us feel better, and it helps us live a longer, happier life. This is science talking not just grace, but it changed my life in that I have been able to leave, I hope, a legacy. I am not the secretary of kindness anymore. I passed it to my left and right hand person. She’s doing a phenomenal job. We just had Salisbury University students do a new branding for us, a new logo and a new marketing campaign. We’re about to launch a big fundraiser, because we’re always low on funds, and the more funds we have, the more fun and kindness can take place.

Nestor Aparicio  10:51

Well, if your fundraising includes ugly pie down in Salisbury, I’m gonna come down and get ugly. You know, I think about kindness, by the way, Grace Foxwell Murdoch is the former secretary of kindness, of forever, Secretary of kindness in Salisbury, my comic book County, as I get down to the beach in the summers. But the Socrates line, that’s sort of a Buddhist expression, is it true? And I asked this as a journalist, I asked this as a jerk on the radio when I’m being critical of sports teams or whatever. Humans, much more. So with humans, is it true? I’ve been doing this 35 years. I don’t put anything out that’s not true. Is it necessary? Holding power accountable for me is what I do. So it is necessary, even when it’s not nice, it’s necessary. But is it kind? And that’s a question. That’s a three part question, is it true? Is it necessary and is it kind right? I think about true and necessary all the time, kind sometimes it sometimes it isn’t. But when it’s intentional, and it’s hard to be kind to Donald Trump, well, the people that come it is, I mean, it’s a real this goes back to Biblical things and religious things and spiritual things. Is saying, Where is my limit for tolerance, for what is going on? To say, I got, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, put up a stop sign for that. But the kindness part of it on a daily basis, to come through and see people out being nice to people that serve you in restaurant. You know how you treat other people that may be beneath you on the totem pole of what you think life’s experience should be. Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? And I thought about that in regard to kindness, because I think it’s, it’s hard to be kind all the time. It is in every sort it is. I mean, it really, it’s a challenge for all of our nervous systems, right?

Grace Foxwell Murdock  12:50

But when we were doing the we were participating in getting Salisbury named the first world kindness, USA city, with the world Kindness Movement, their mantra was have courage and be kind. Because it does take courage. Kindness gets a bad rap because people think it’s weakness, and it is definitely not, because how hard is it to hold your tongue when you want to criticize somebody? So you have to have courage and say, Is it kind No, is it going to change anything if I say this negative thing? Probably not. So, you know, my mother always said, If you can’t say something nice, keep your mouth closed.

Nestor Aparicio  13:35

8

Would make perfect radio show. But I, but I, this is why I’m having you on. I’m trying to soften myself up a little bit here, you know, I’m not a bad guy. Grace, you know, but I but fighting evil, it’s hard to do that with kindness. I would just say that. And I think that where we are even, since the last time I got together with you, with this creep getting elected the second time, like fighting that on a typical daily basis, on my social media alone, there are really a lot of miserable people in this society, and that’s why it’s important for me to have people like you on to say we have an antidote for that, you know, kind. And I would agree I would not be kind to Donald Trump or any of his cronies if they came in here to me, because it would be necessary for me to let them know where I stand but on a daily basis, there is a lack of it, and I think that’s why we’re talking about it, because there isn’t enough kindness. There really isn’t there could be you.

Grace Foxwell Murdock  14:31

You have a hard position, because you are a commentator, and people expect to hear from you, and that’s fine. You don’t have to be kind to people that you don’t care for or you have a real problem with, but you can be professional, and there are ways to say things that get to the point across without being ugly.

Nestor Aparicio  14:53

And I’m a professional writer, so I know better. I have a thesaurus. I pick the exact word I want. Sometimes it’s not kind, but it’s necessary in my in my opinion, but being unkind to people who don’t deserve it, that, to me, really speaks to the leadership in this country, being kind to yes people, because they are you’re speaking down to them. That is that that’s, um, that’s a power problem in our society. I think in general, bosses, patriarchy, race, just all

Grace Foxwell Murdock  15:29

there is a thread of that. But I also want to mention this, we have a two circles around us, a circle of concern and a circle of influence. I’m concerned about everything that’s negative and just I hate to use the term blowing up at this point, but everything that’s happening, I have a huge concern for our country. I really do, but my circle of influence is Salisbury and waicombe county and maryland, and I can have an impact on that. I can be worried about the other but I’m going to keep my space kind. I’m in a kindness bubble. I get it. I’m a little bit farther along than other people in my thinking. I know that. And people think, how can she How can she do that? How can? Because I need it. When I’m at my lowest point, I bake, I take it to people, I send something somebody, I send a card.

8

Nestor Aparicio  16:31

Kindness gets you out of your mind. Is what you’re saying that. Yes, okay, all right, it’s

Grace Foxwell Murdock  16:35

my kindness is part of my self care, and I need it. And at my low points, I think about other people, I have an attitude of gratitude all the time. I lost power last week, Nestor, that’s why I couldn’t get on with you. Remember, and boy, when those lights came and that

Nestor Aparicio  16:53

he I hope you heard the ice cream first, right? You did that, right?

Grace Foxwell Murdock  16:57

8

I didn’t lose any food, thank goodness. But I was so grateful. I went out and spoke to the Delmarva power fellow, and I said, I’m just so glad you’re here. He said, I’m glad you’re not yelling at us, because most have been. Most people have been yelling.

Nestor Aparicio  17:11

I’m really you got hammered over there in

Grace Foxwell Murdock  17:13

eastern Yeah, we did, but it went quickly. Thank goodness. It came heavy and

Nestor Aparicio  17:18

left quickly, not like that thing a month ago that put four inches of ice up here that it sat around for two weeks. You know? Oh, no, I was an ice castler. Grace Foxwell Murdoch is my friend in Salisbury, out on the Eastern Shore. If you think there’s not enough kindness coming on the Eastern Shore, you haven’t met grace. How can I help you? How can folks help you? Give me where to go, online fundraising events, the things that you’re doing so that you can continue to spread kindness and and I’m so glad that we made some time to get together here today. Me too. Me too. Thank you. I’ve been meaning to have you on in this cruel, awful world and thinking I need 20 minutes of grace and talk about kindness here a little bit.

8

Grace Foxwell Murdock  17:55

Thank you. Kind s by org is our website, and it will show everything that we’ve been doing for the last five years as kind s by and 10 years in Salisbury, and we feel very proud that we are and will always be the first world kindness USA city in our nation, and we are living it. Do we still have bad things that happen. Of course we do, but there are a whole group of commissioners and people beyond in our circles that make kindness the norm every day.

Nestor Aparicio  18:33

Well, you do that, and you know, I gotta figure the mug thing out from I gotta find that pink mug I’ve been looking on the internet for the kindness mug. And we do have your sticker up your spy sticker. So everybody go out kind s, b y, that’s for Salisbury. S, B y.org, very easy to find grace and to keep up the great work over there. And when I come through in August for Mako, and I might get down to the beach before then. I mean, you know, I like the beach, I should meet you with the ugly pie. You got my digits, and return the favor by buying you one of those crumble Berry, triple berry. I am a death by coconut guy, so you can let them know that’s my jam.

Grace Foxwell Murdock  19:12

I also like the lemon. Let me leave you with my quote, may kindness find you every day and when it does give some away.

Nestor Aparicio  19:23

8

You’re giving me extra kindness to give to someone else. That’s nice of you. That’s good, all right. Well, I’m going to work on that. And on behalf of my audience, everybody here knows I’m working on that. Some days it’s a struggle, though. You know, it’s why we, all people, go to penance and stuff is, you know, because you screw up and you make a mistake, but at the end of the day, leading with kindness is is a beautiful thing, and I don’t want to get you you remind me my mom a little bit. Is that okay? It’s fine. That’s a compliment. That’s good. All right, that’s good. My mom baked too. So does my wife, Grace Foxwell Murdock, can be found at kind s, B, y.org, she’s down in on. The Eastern Shore, shoveling and feeding people and doing good things and spreading the word and making little bracelets that you could find as well. Go help her out. Grace. Love you. Appreciate y’all see you down at Salisbury. All right. Thank you so much. Mogans and some oysters right there in downtown Salisbury. You know, ever since they built that bypass, nobody goes through Salisbury anymore, and I’m like, no, salisbury’s Good. Stop off for a minute. You know,

Grace Foxwell Murdock  20:24

we’re trying. We’re still trying

Nestor Aparicio  20:25

nest take it down. Don’t take that, that left ramp that goes around past the Starbucks. Take the one that goes to the red lights like we used to. There you go. Is that clear? Yeah, all right, Salisbury, Maryland, they’re still part of all of this. I am Nestor. We are wnst. Am 1570 Towson, Baltimore, we never stop talking kindness and Baltimore positive. Stay with us. You.