Crab Cake Row: Veronica Land Davis of HopeWell Cancer Support discusses hope and support for victims

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Veronica Land Davis of HopeWell Cancer Support discusses their role of exchanging information, development of a support system and the presence of hope for those battling and navigating cancer.

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

cancer, hopewell, good, wife, veronica, give, terry, hope, told, family, dealing, big, baltimore, maryland, doors, brewery, provide, support, crab cakes, impacts

SPEAKERS

Terri Weigel, Veronica Land-Davis, Nestor J. Aparicio

Nestor J. Aparicio  00:02

Welcome back and happy lunchtime to everybody out celebrating a beautiful Friday. It’s the weekend at the big game. We’re gonna be at Hollywood casino on Sunday night for the big game. I’m gonna play some blackjack. I’m gonna wave hi to Taylor and I’m rooting for the chiefs. I don’t know why just Am I just I’m feeling that way. 10 times the cash is our promotion right now. We are doing a couple Super Bowls. crabcake row. We’re doing live radio because I’m a knucklehead for the first time in 10 years. Five o’clock. I’m going to be like Rocky and Apollo and Kobe. No rematch. Our friends are winter nation. 866 90 nation reminding you they do doors. They’re reminding me they do doors because I’m getting my doors done. I’m a little crack under the door. I have no mice or snakes right now but we’re going to try to keep them out with our friends of pests are also our friends at Jiffy Lube. multicarrier took care of us. This is my Oprah portion of the show where I get to give my dear friend Terry Weigel, I’ve known unfortunately for 10 years because I know you through my wife’s illness and when my wife got cancer, you’re working for a friend and there goes my hero. So one for you. And one for Veronica land Davis, executive director as well. Terry wrote to me earlier week, she’s like, you know, I have a gig at a charity now you should promote it at 40 your thing and I’m like, this is exactly what I was trying to get to 100 charities this week. And people that got me late are like apologize. And I’m like, No, I’m only made it to like the mid 60. So you added another charity for us. And I gotta fix your headset because I want to make sure that you sound good. And look you hid from me. How are you? Terry? You? Good? Thanks.

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Terri Weigel  01:33

Yes,

Nestor J. Aparicio  01:34

you’re gonna have the wacky accent like my wife told me where you’re from? New Hampshire, New Hampshire? They don’t say Shire? Sure. The Hampshire. Where are you from

Veronica Land-Davis  01:44

Veronica? From Baltimore.

Nestor J. Aparicio  01:46

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Maryland makes you a good person. This is not your first rodeo with the crabcake is what you’re telling me. I’m telling you not your first bowl of soup. Not. Terry told me about your new organization, your organization because you were excited to have Veronica here. And I’m excited to have you.

Terri Weigel  02:00

Well, I’m gonna let Veronica tell you more about it. But I am the Development Director at Hopewell cancer support. And Hopewell is celebrating its 30th anniversary this year, we’ve been around that long helping people with cancer deal with the non medical side of cancer. And I’m gonna let Veronica chime in here. Well,

Nestor J. Aparicio  02:18

I can’t wait to hear this. Because as you know, my wife is a two time cancer survivor. I had to care first people you’re talking about medical bills and insurance and all that. And then there’s the oh, okay, your fix go home. And that’s what they did to my wife. So I can’t wait to hear about this.

Veronica Land-Davis  02:36

Well, I can tell you that knowing that cancer impacts not just the person that’s diagnosed, but it’s it’s a family disease in a big way. And you know, we know that the medical treatment is hard. But let me tell you, when you’re dealing with the social emotional journey, and roller coaster that comes with a cancer diagnosis, that’s daunting, as well. So one of the things that we really try to do at home well, is to provide a safe space for our families to come together and make meaning of this thing called cancer. So it’s not all about the medicine. But how do you create a space for people who are dealing with this thing called cancer because number one is an unwelcome guests in our lives. We have no control or what have

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Nestor J. Aparicio  03:23

everybody remembers the day, the moment that that happens? Oh, my goodness, it changed everything in our world, march 28 2014, be 1010 years next month for us. So that’s how long I’ve been no, and Terry. But it certainly changed everything for us. Right?

Veronica Land-Davis  03:37

And you just freeze when you hear those words, you have cancer, it is so emotional, that you have to figure out how do I move forward? And so what Hopewell does, is we provide support for our families. So we have peer support groups, we have Mind Body Spirit classes, we have educational classes, let me pause and why I think that’s so important. When cancer enters into our lives, it just takes away control. So part of our journey is to give our family back that control give them the information. So we are in partnership with many of the oncologists, experts, so they come to hope. Well, they tell you how to create your treatment and you become the captain of your own ship and dealing with this thing called cancer. Now, I wanted to things I always want the the audience to know is that when we talk about as being a cancer being a family disease, we do a lot of work with children and adolescents. How many times do we continue to kind of focus on adults and forget about what this diagnosis impacts our children and adolescence? Yeah, I

Nestor J. Aparicio  04:48

haven’t thought about that. Ever. My wife had a woman in the in the room next to her. I want to say it was the second time chicken because of I mean, we try not. I told the folks that alleged So we’ve been doing our best to try not to think about it so much lately, even though I get pulled back in by folks like you, and I’ve only cried eight and a half times this week, or nine and a half actually had one yesterday. So I’m trying to keep the under the 10. But there was a woman in the room next to us had little children. I mean, like 34567, they were there at Halloween, and they dressed up. So it was a second time was the second time my wife had cancer, because he was in October, and they went room to room trick or treating, and their trick or treating was in the cancer ward, because their mother was there fighting for her life. This is same woman that needed to patch I hope she’s alive. We didn’t we don’t know where she was from, like Winchester, Virginia, and her family was an hour and a half from treatment. And she had little kids and I’m thinking to myself, What do you tell your children about mommy when I mean, you know, that’s a really. And not every daddy is equipped to be dad, he’s already got his wife dying, right? And they’re fighting. And you know, grandma’s out of her mind, and you know, a parent, her parents are a mess, and everybody’s mad. Everybody’s mad, I promise you as the guy that had to kind of hold stuff together law, my father in law, like, people are a mess, ya know, every sisters are a mess, brother, everybody’s a mess. And there’s anger but children to me, especially because they don’t understand. And

Veronica Land-Davis  06:17

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they don’t have the language. They don’t have the language to say I’m angry, I’m hurt. So we have just dynamic facilitators that come together, and we give them that language, we provide a safe space where it’s okay to say I’m angry that mommy is going to leave me I’m angry that daddy is going to leave me and no, I have this feelings. But how do I tell an adult, and then it impacts academic achievement, how many young people I’ve had the privilege to work with. And I say privilege, because everybody doesn’t have to allow you to enter into that space. So that dealing some hardship with the cancer, but it’s impacting academic achievement. So again, I just want to say as I started off, this is not an individual journey. It’s a family journey. And each journey is different. So being someone who is a caregiver of a sister who is diagnosed with breast cancer, understand what it feels like, as she’s going through her journey. I’m going through my journey, by having a place where I can go even though I work there, and be able to say I’m angry. I don’t know what this looked like the doctor just telling me about the medical treatment. But I got to deal with this thing, this emotional roller coaster that continues to go. Does cancer mean death? No. But many times when we hit those words, you automatically start to think about your mortality. But we’re there. We’re here. That’s our model. We’re here for you.

Nestor J. Aparicio  07:45

Man, I hope we’ll start getting everybody the background of that. How long have you been involved?

Veronica Land-Davis  07:48

I’ve been involved as the executive director for a year but I’ve been involved with Hopewell for six years as a clinician. So when I walked in the door part of it because I had my own journey with cancer. And I wanted to give back how long ago was your cancer when and once and for me? It was it was a family member. Okay. All my siblings, unfortunately has been diagnosed. So you’ve been tested? Right? You alright, I’m good. I’m good.

Nestor J. Aparicio  08:12

I’m at the Tiana people hear about the boobies and check in. We got to get tested and the DNA and the G all those things. Right. Right. So sister as you gotta get tested, right? Yeah, we went through

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Veronica Land-Davis  08:25

the whole test. We did the whole gene thing. We wanted to make sure not just for me, but my nieces and nephew. I mean, my nieces and their nieces. Anybody with your blood? That’s right, right. That’s right. So so being at Hopewell for six years, but it started back in 1993, we was used, we were originally part of the wellness community. And then there were a group of people who felt like we here in Baltimore, needed something different. And as a result, there were a group of people who came together and created this thing called Hopewell cancer support. And the reason why I love this organization, because in his name is what we do. We provide hope, and wellness. And I can tell you

Nestor J. Aparicio  09:04

do it well, and we do it well.

Veronica Land-Davis  09:12

Can I say that? We can hope and we do it? Well,

Nestor J. Aparicio  09:14

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right? Absolutely. But for you with a six year old clinician.

Veronica Land-Davis  09:20

What does that mean? Yeah, that means as provide a safe place for people to come and talk about all the taboo things around cancer, we talk about what does it feel when you were the head of the household, and now your wife has to be the head of the heart. So we talk about what does it mean when you’re coupled? And all of a sudden you and your couple relationship changes just because of the nature of the beast of the cancer. So it’s non judgmental. My job is to provide a space where people feel safe and that’s what I take. I’m happy about that’s why I get up, get dressed and come to work every day. is because we are providing that space who can call you could come my wife call, anybody can call us. It doesn’t matter what stage of cancer you are dealing with, doesn’t matter the type of cancer. But if you give us a call at 410 832 410-832-2719 we’re going to answer that phone. We’re gonna find you online. You can find us at www. Hopewell cancer support.org

Nestor J. Aparicio  10:25

HK Well, cancer support.org.

Veronica Land-Davis  10:29

That’s that’s the place and I can tell you one of the things you’re not going to get isn’t a recording, there is going to be someone who’s going to say hello, welcome to hope. Well,

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Terri Weigel  10:39

and that’s Jeremy. Hi, Jeremy. Hi,

Nestor J. Aparicio  10:42

Jeremy. How are you? Oh, Paul has been changing people’s experience with cancer as a nonprofit organization since 1993. Baltimore, the Baltimore region is only source of comprehensive psychosocial cancer support that is independent, freestanding, non institutional community based. What does it cost to do this?

Veronica Land-Davis  11:00

Not one cent. That’s why we listen.

Nestor J. Aparicio  11:04

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I’m on brandy. Yeah, you gotta get free in here somewhere. No cost is told us to make him McCorkle. Do that like Enoch Pratt? Free Library

Veronica Land-Davis  11:13

free? Yeah, no costs. Because when you’re dealing with cancer, and you’re dealing with financial issues associated with cancer, we don’t want to be a barrier. We want to make sure our doors are open. So it’s no cost. So we do we have an awesome development director. Bringing the money bring in.

Nestor J. Aparicio  11:33

Michael is here. Veronica land Davis. She’s executive director of hobo cancer. And your base. Where is your office? If people come to your office

Veronica Land-Davis  11:41

106 28 Falls row we will right Lutherville Loserville. station next to metal wood Park Regional Park. All

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Nestor J. Aparicio  11:51

right. Good, good. Good. I know exactly where you are. You gonna come and visit us? Why? I mean, I could visit but I don’t need treatment. Oh,

Veronica Land-Davis  11:57

your friend of hope. Well, I am now. Yes, you are. And I’m just giving you an invitation.

Nestor J. Aparicio  12:03

I just learned. Do you have a fundraiser or big Dare I say I will say because this is a cup of soup or Bowl week and I would never say Super Bowl. Do you have a big game? Terry, do you have a big event?

Terri Weigel  12:17

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Well, we have several events. But we have a trivia night coming up on March 7 at BC brewery and hunt. Now I know

Nestor J. Aparicio  12:24

that joint, let me tell you a PC brewery. You go in there with a little credit card. And you go I’m gonna have a little bit of that and you go in and you get 2.8 ounces of whatever elixir that you know you want to sample. Yeah, I like BC brewery. I’m down with that big stage there. It’s good join March 7.

Terri Weigel  12:42

And we have Walsh trivia running the event. It’ll be great. April 20. We have our concert for hope. And we have a group called Beatlemania again or Beatles tribute band. Love me do that’ll be IntelliSense very affordable ticket prices. Tickets are tax deductible.

Nestor J. Aparicio  13:01

But let my hair down and look a little bit like John back in the 60s. You could you could do that. I can’t do yoga. But I can do John, do that. So that’s just take them out online and make a phone call. It’s simple as that. Yeah. This is exactly like we’re, you know, my wife is was in regard to there’s some things I’m angry about you. Let’s let’s talk about Yeah, me let’s but one of things I am angry bad is that there was like I have a Marriott rep from my card, right? My frequent flyer card. You know, my wife did a couple million dollars worth of business with the Hopkins folks who care first, whatever, the after part of that for her job for the hospital for anybody to step up and say, Are you okay? Like, I just thought for sure, if you almost died, they would. They didn’t even give her like a nutrition plan. She’s really good at that. But like all of the part of that is they just like, bring you in you either they either bury you or they save you and they throw you out the door. Like literally, that’s how it went. And you know, that’s not pissing on Hopkins, they saved her life. But there was no next next place to go in 2016 1718 Or there was but we didn’t know about. But they should be providing they should set you up and say you need to go find three different Hope Wells and talk to different people, because you’re going to need this you are you are going to and then her mother got cancer sister got cancer, like just on top of all of that you’re going to need that kind of support. And that’s something that 10 years out. I promise you, that’s that’s a step we missed for my wife and something that really would have helped her, you know, and help anybody like her that went through what she went through, because I’m good. No, but I’m not the camp counselor. And I’m not the right guy for that as a caregiver or husband. There are professionals for that that really can help because you know my wife struggled in the aftermath and a lot of ways just wondering why me I’m alive. How did it happen? This man saved my life. How do I treat all of this? And also we’re family me everybody, you know, just and for me, every day in my life somebody came up and asked me how she’s doing. And I’m like, Look at her. She’s great. wasn’t always great. But no, it could have been better if

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Veronica Land-Davis  15:18

you are doing the same thing because you

Nestor J. Aparicio  15:24

nobody asked me really nobody ever asked about me now.

Veronica Land-Davis  15:26

Well, we will x about you and that’s the default fine. We have caregivers. Bones about if they’re they’re dealing with family, friends or caregivers. This a group they had hoped. Well, that that’s what we do we take care of you. All right.

Nestor J. Aparicio  15:41

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Well, that’s why I ask how much it was because I’m willing Yeah, how much I got over here. I need some. Terry, I appreciate you. You know that I’m at Terry Weigel. 10 years ago, my wife had cancer. She was doing the good work. There goes my hero. We learned a lot. There was one here was the organization we reach to so when my wife was battling strapped down bald, fighting for life. There goes my hero was the one place we reach and Michelle came out and literally sat at the foot of my wife’s bed and coached her. Yeah,

Veronica Land-Davis  16:07

can I also just say that Hopewell also understands that some of my family’s still with death due to the loss of cancer and we have a program for them as well for our children for adults. Unfortunately, that occur. My

Nestor J. Aparicio  16:20

man, Tom herb from Hoffa foundation, you know, found himself that his brother had fentanyl overdose. That’s exactly the his family needed help. And that would have been you. All right. I’m just trying to understand who you are what you do. Veronica land Davis, she’s here Executive Director oppo cancer. If, if you got somebody that’s in the struggle about the struggle near the struggle, these folks want to give you some help. How about that?

Veronica Land-Davis  16:44

Thank you. Yeah,

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Terri Weigel  16:45

we’re here for you.

Nestor J. Aparicio  16:46

We’re here to drink with him on March 7 and play some trivia games. Thanks for coming by really appreciate you wait a little while but all these stories have to come in due time which is why Mr. Pinsky is going to be here he tells me I matter we’re going to find out how much I matter if somebody bruises coffee over here, I’ll matter more. We’re at your Pappus we’re Cockeysville I want to say don’t go to Bel Air or don’t go to Parkville or don’t go to go to don’t go today. Come out here to cockys Mill today for coming out. Bring us some stuff for the Maryland Food Bank. Crab cakes are good soups delicious. A cup of Super Bowl with this crab cake row you bring good stuff for the Maryland Food Bank, I give you Maryland lottery tickets I’m running out I’m not really running out I’ve got I’ve got an unlevel like it’s like an unlimited amount of tickets but we will give you a 10 times the cash scratch off and maybe you can be lucky like the fella was yesterday over at State Fair and win 10 times the cash in the Maryland lottery friends window nation also Jiffy Lube multi care and he doesn’t care whether I say his name or not I just want to say it today because it’s late his last day on the beach and we’ll lay in Maui my friend letter Raskin who’s missing out on the crab cakes here but I’m not he’s got fresh my ties and pineapple juice over there. He’s got trip trucks all those things that I love over and over why as well. He’ll be wearing SPF 50 He’s gonna come back here looking all tan and refreshed. We’ll have him on next week.

Veronica Land-Davis  18:06

Can I just say thank you for giving us the space just to share today we truly appreciate it.

Nestor J. Aparicio  18:12

I truly appreciate it you driving up here and hanging out with me and having good spirits and trying to help somebody you’re gonna have so I don’t know who it is out there but somebody is going to find you guys and give you some help. Appreciate you Alright, we’re back for more. We are live at Pappas pub which stresses me out I have my I use this rescue of you guys are old farts like me remember Richard sharing my capitalist my square off gavel back for more right after this.

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