We always wanted to have Baltimoreโs most famous worldwide export on the show but were afraid to ask. In advance of his โA John Waters Christmas: Letโs Blow It Up!โ at Baltimore SoundStage on December 21st, the Pope Of Trash comes home to Nestor to dish on holiday etiquette and why he loves soft shell crabs and still being on stage with an audience.
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
baltimore, christmas, crab cake, john, love, soundstage, waters, artist, art, movies, city, tour, shows, friends, parents, years, program, feel, bad, softshell crabs
SPEAKERS
Nestor Aparicio
Nestor Aparicio 00:01
W N S, T, Towson, Baltimore and Baltimore positive weโre gonna be taking the Maryland crabcake tour on the road a dozen times before Christmas is all brought to you by our friends at the Maryland lottery Iโll be giving these ravens scratch offs away, our friends and window nation as well as our newest sponsor, Jiffy Lube, multi care getting to get my oil change, when when I found that this guy was coming on the show, I had to go out on the internet and brag a little bit. Itโs been 32 years Iโve had all sorts of political figures, rockstars athletes on the program, but the number one person on my bucket list, obviously has to be someone from Baltimore and heโs Baltimoreโs favorite person. We welcome John Waters on to the program in anticipation of another night when heโs going to drag us downtown and make us laugh and make us cry for the holidays. It is He John Waters Christmas. Letโs blow it up. You finally decided to come on my part. Was it? Was it the long hair? What kept you away from each? Oh,
00:54
no, I donโt know. Did I say no to it before?
Nestor Aparicio 00:58
You have never turned me down? Iโll say that. Well, thatโs
01:00
what Iโm saying. So you never asked me before maybe? Well,
Nestor Aparicio 01:04
I donโt know. I am pleased to have you on.
01:06
Iโm thrilled to be here. Yeah. But my David Lynch background, right.
Nestor Aparicio 01:10
Well, you know, we all have green screens now. I mean, I used to really live here at the city. So for you coming to Baltimore, youโre doing like,
01:17
I live here. Iโm not coming here. I live here. Yeah.
Nestor Aparicio 01:20
I mean, youโre on a tour, youโre going to other places that the Baltimore shows different for you, right. I mean, usually closing night
01:27
and so thatโs good, because Iโve done it in like 20 cities before and like 23 days or something. But yes, itโs the club is great. Soundgarden is great. And no, itโs not called that what soundstage soundstage Yes. And theyโre great. And they decorate for me, they have the best dressing room, the best snacks. And itโs, itโs a great audience. And they get every Baltimore joke that maybe they wouldnโt I donโt put in shows outside of Baltimore. So itโs very much a homecoming very much so
Nestor Aparicio 01:55
well, for you to be doing this at this point in your life. And I think this if anyone your age has had the celebrity and the notoriety, you want to be making movies, I guess youโd be making them if you
02:05
know, Iโm trying to get that made too. But I always have to tell a story. So I write books, I do spoken word shows. I do make movies. I mean, Iโm constantly Elton John told me a long time ago, if you the day you quit touring, itโs over. And so in a politician, you go out there you meet the fans, I just did eight cities this week, than I did two in Canada. Iโm in Edmonton, Canada, theyโre all Theyโre dressed like the characters in my movies. Itโs amazing. So I want to see that I want to be in touch with the people that have let me get away with this for 50 years. There have a filthy of people alive, not me.
Nestor Aparicio 02:41
Well, putting a show like this together. What can we expect? Donโt give too much away here because we know your head right now.
02:49
Well, this is the new show salutes the new sexual revolution thatโs even managed to startle me. So I think that thatโs what I want for Christmas is always to be startled this year. I am. So I think itโs about that about how Christmas no matter what is coming towards you. You can hate it. You can love it. You can participate in it, you can deny it, but it still is there. So I have something for everybody. No matter what you think about Christmas.
Nestor Aparicio 03:14
You know, I grew up in the 70s in Dundalk, right by eastpoint Mall. And I have my own Christmas thing whether itโs Rudolph whether itโs burr lives, but I had the Christmas experience Iโm sort of from a weirdly broken home, which, but so so for you What is Christmas for you? What was the
03:32
traditional Christmas? And so I didnโt you know, the only good thing that crazy thing that ever happened to me that Iโve exploited forever. Itโs in one of my movies. My grandmother of a Christmas tree fell over on her when she was decorating and she was pinned. But I was so excited by that. And so I took a whole scene and female trouble word divine knocks the Christmas tree over on her parents because she doesnโt get the shots on heels she wanted. So that became a big thing. They show it at Christmas or so whenever I go around the country. People tell me stories about when the Christmas tree fell over in their house and it happens really a lot. So weird things that happen on Christmas are important. Like if you go home with your partner to your parents for Christmas. Do you have sex when youโre in their house on Christmas Eve? Or do you think that thatโs bad manners? Are
Nestor Aparicio 04:18
you getting away with it? Maybe
04:19
Maybe No, Iโm just saying it depends. Especially with the new nonbinary you donโt even know what youโre getting. So basically the parents donโt even know who you brought home. So but at the same time I think it is rude to go home to your parents and have sex in their house on Christmas Eve even asleep in different beds or like Fred and Wilma are no no but if youโre in the bedroom, they give you a bed still You shouldnโt be like Kenton and making noises in your parents house. I think thatโs thatโs the kind of thing I talked about.
Nestor Aparicio 04:47
What if you can get away with it quietly?
04:51
I guess but maybe not. Who knows how quiet you know if your parents have to like just pretend they donโt hear it is I think on one day itโs manners about whoโs ever house Youโre in at but it worse was if you had your parents to your house and they started having wild sex in the other room
Nestor Aparicio 05:06
that we would not want. But I mean, youโre you sounds like youโre pushing your morality on me, John Waters. Is that true?
05:11
A cockeyed morality? Definitely. morality. Thatโs what worries
Nestor Aparicio 05:15
me. Thatโs what worries me. So putting the show together and taking on the country, the Baltimore part of you that always thereโs something sort of inherently funny about Baltimore, from the accents on right. I mean, and you
05:29
have accents, I always get tired when actors try to talk about them or accent from my movies, because I had to have a burrito, I donโt want to have fake. But I think the Baltimore one thing weโve all learned is that other people canโt laugh at Baltimore, but we can, but we have to do it first. And weโve always made fun of ourselves. Thatโs how we get away with making fun of others in a good way, and not a mean way. So I think Baltimore, yes, it is like when people say I just moved there. I always say why if you didnโt grow up here, if you grew up there, I totally get it. But the other way, I think we should have bumper stickers that now they think, Oh, weโre the murder capital. Weโre not, weโre number three. So we should have bumper stickers that said, thereโs two worse places. Or a bumper sticker that said the wire itโs still like that. Letโs embrace our because now after COVID, all the fancy cities are like Baltimore, and Baltimore is the same. What do
Nestor Aparicio 06:27
you love about Baltimore? I mean, you say you donโt leave, youโre always hear
06:31
all the time. If I couldnโt leave, but Iโm travelled constantly. But I like Baltimore, because my old friends are here. I donโt trust people that donโt have old friends. And people here have a sense of humor about themselves. I know people here that arenโt in show business. So itโs not something I always have to talk about. How could I write anything if the only people I met were in the same business as I met? I want to hear everybody elseโs bad night.
Nestor Aparicio 06:54
Well, itโs also youโre an artist, and you put your art out there. And I know the significance of art in your life and your contribution start, why is art important? Why Why? Why do we
07:05
laugh? I never call but I do art. I hate it. When I meet somebody and I say what do you do? And they say, Iโm an artist, I think silently Oh, really, thatโll be Iโll be the judge of that not you. And to be more important, history will be adjusted but So never say youโre an artist. But however you are an artist, I can You can say it to me and I can say thank you, but you should never call yourself an artist. You can say youโre a painter, youโre a photographer, youโre a performance artist, but an artist is someone elseโs opinion that youโre that. So and, and you have to have one more person than your mother and the person youโre sleeping with think youโre an artist and then you are one.
Nestor Aparicio 07:42
But you have always been supportive of other artists and art.
07:47
I collect modern art I am. You know, most of my friends are certainly in showbusiness or writers or have some creative outlet. Absolutely. If I didnโt have a creative outlet, I would have been in prison for a long time ago.
Nestor Aparicio 08:00
Youโre doing a Valentineโs thing to in addition to
08:04
which I do talk about love is a tough thing. Everybodyโs born with a loved map. You know, Dr. John Money, who is my friend but disgraced Baltimore, six sex colleges wrote a book about that. So I do talk about love math, and I talk about relationships. Yes. And Iโm against a human sandwich. So let us is always wilted and gets plucked out. Gets a little warm, doesnโt it? Well, itโs just you always get discarded. Never be in the middle of a sandwich be the bread, but not the lettuce.
Nestor Aparicio 08:36
Absolutely. John Walters is on tour. Heโs somewhere I think heโs in Baltimore right now. He will certainly be in Baltimore soundstage on the 21st. So if youโre not Christmas stout, if youโre not Mariah Carey doubt or eggnog or peppermint or whatever, that you love or hate about the season, certainly the thing we love the most. John, Iโve seen your show down at the Lyric when youโve come in at Christmas time for that soundstage, a smaller, more intimate sort of environment as well. You get to see everybodyโs face.
09:05
Yeah, well, you donโt see anybody till the question and answer for when you come on stage is black. I canโt I canโt you donโt see the people when youโre on stage or the lighting. But then when we do their questions, and they turn the lights on if they Whoa, I can see everybody, you can hear them and you can feel their energy but you donโt really see the audience when youโre on stage.
Nestor Aparicio 09:20
What do most people ask you about that? Arenโt from Baltimore? I mean, a single morning Baltimore to you. If I had pitched mangoes on a shirt, I would have worn it. This is the closest I could
09:29
do. Yeah. What is it on my glasses?
Nestor Aparicio 09:32
I know theyโre just flowers.
09:34
Yes, they do thing thatโs on for me. And the funniest thing is I will be in Europe, letโs say somewhere in an airport and somebody will come over to me and say, Oh, weโre from Baltimore to like, Iโm gonna say, Oh my God, thank God. I was so terrified. Being in this Paris airport without a Baltimore birth. But itโs funny they mean it really nicely. They like they so happy and proud. Theyโre from Baltimore. So and I can always hear Which gate is going to Baltimore because theyโre louder. Thatโs true. waiting at the gate or speak in a much louder voice. No one learned their inside voice in their outside voice that lesson was not learned well in Baltimore.
Nestor Aparicio 10:14
It really pisses me off at a concert when theyโre singing like ballad, right? People talking in Baltimore,
10:20
or they have their phones out right in front of me like that makes me crazy. So you donโt like that your shows right? Or you canโt take your phone out because you can take pictures so we have a whole thing youโre not allowed to take pictures or recorded or anything like that.
Nestor Aparicio 10:31
Good. Can you get them to shut up when youโre talking to can you help me Shut up? I
10:35
donโt ever get hacked. I have great audiences now that you see those people come
Nestor Aparicio 10:39
up to you to come up to you in some airport in Switzerland and say hey, youโre John Waters. Iโm from Baltimore. There really is a feeling and when I travel places with an Oriole hat or Raven hat there is it we feel like itโs us against the world to some degree and you said people are nice to you we are Charm City John right.
10:58
I know well, harm city, they changed it there. Thatโs the thing. Every every campaign they thought of believe they changed that to be evil. You know, Charm City was harmed city, the city that reads the city that bleeds, you know, they came up with a breach reads through Yeah, yeah, there was two of them bleed then breeds. Right.
Nestor Aparicio 11:17
John, for you and next steps and thinking things forward from an artist standpoint. Are you are you always two steps ahead? I mean, when do you conceive, Iโm gonna go out on the road like Elton John told me and touch the people and maybe make a little bit of money. But this feels like thereโs a lot of effort to go out and do this. This is
11:36
to write it once a year a whole new show and memorize it is definitely a lot of effort. Iโve been doing it for 50 years, though, I used to tour all the colleges on my films. Iโm a carny. You know, Iโm like 2468 and especially midnight, so we got it all be showing all I give away door prizes. I have contests I go on TV. Iโm out there promoting. Thatโs your art that you walk now most important. I donโt know if itโs my art, but it is something how I make a living.
Nestor Aparicio 12:03
They told me only have 15 minutes of my whole life with you. So Iโm at minute 12 and a half. So I just wanted to do this Maryland crab cake tour. And my original thought was to have you out for crab cake. Now there are some people that are vegan that donโt eat crab cakes. I like
12:17
I like softshell crabs. I donโt like all that hammering those bad outfits after where and like bids and shit I canโt worry about but crab cakes. You just eat them. Yeah.
Nestor Aparicio 12:27
Whenโs the last time you picked up Maryland crab John Waters
12:31
a long time I donโt like that. It hurts to do it and you just donโt do it? I donโt but I love softshell crabs and I can cook them really well. I love them. I just donโt like any meal that you have to put newspaper down where a bib caught yourself and hit it with a hammer. Itโs too much for me. too violent.
Nestor Aparicio 12:49
I invite John Walters on this program one time and you know the thing everyone in Baltimore loves them you donโt love opening crap. Would you do it for a comedy bit if we brought
13:00
maybe if you just had all the mug the devils mustard and I had to eat fat now Iโm just getting the whole damn thing if you read the shell shell no Yeah, I know and I love the soft shell and especially scary when you get them and theyโre still moving and shit but to meet me I just the newspaper thing and the bib with cute slogan phone and I have trouble with its if I need an outfit to eat.
Nestor Aparicio 13:24
If I bring you a nice pan fried crab cake on a on a free
13:29
use a crab cake. Iโm talking about hardshell crabs, the EPA and do all that stuff and pick them apart. Now. A crab cake is already picked and cooked right?
Nestor Aparicio 13:39
Youโll leave that? Yes. Okay. Do you have a favorite crab cake or a favorite style? No. You leave them all. Okay. All right. Well, Iโm gonna invite you out. And I do hope you come Iโm gonna try to find a shirt with the proper John water stuff. Every one of my family loves you. Everyone in the city loves you. And I just hope you know that and you say
13:59
and I feel that Baltimore is incredibly welcoming. And every time I come home, I just got home this morning. So it was itโs great to be back here as soon as I walk out I see something that is crazy and makes me smile in a good way.
Nestor Aparicio 14:11
Let me see a welcome home hon. All right. God God Yeah.
14:15
But hon you know that not everybody says on African Americans donโt say Han.
Nestor Aparicio 14:21
Always feels Baltimore than Westballz I
14:24
mean, itโs from old school that always wasnโt so tolerant.
Nestor Aparicio 14:28
Well, I am Iโm very very appreciative you took 15 minutes to promote your show. It is a charm waters Christmas blowing what is blowing up mean John, what are we blowing up? Blowing up everything
14:38
that tradition?
Nestor Aparicio 14:41
All right. Well, I like it. Iโm gonna come and bring some eggnog spike it and enjoy myself with the folks that have soundstage downtown. Get down to see John Waters on the 21st obviously doing Valentineโs as well contributing to art and if youโre somewhere I donโt know in those Station North you like that looks like John Ward. It probably is you right
14:59
Steve Buscemi
Nestor Aparicio 15:03
everybodyโs got a doppelganger Job Hunters. Big appreciation you thanks for making time on your green screen for us. Thank
15:08
you so much by the great job waters my bucket list.
Nestor Aparicio 15:12
Itโs happened. Itโs happened here on the program. Iโm Nestor we are wn st am 1570, Towson Baltimore. And we never stop talking Baltimore positive light to listen to my wife and did my hair